Which side will you see?

clrzbldz: random shietttt My cousin’s cooool

Fri, 18 Feb 2011 02:47:27 -0500

random shietttt

My cousin’s cooool

Valentine's Day

Tue, 15 Feb 2011 02:58:53 -0500

I don’t hate Valentine’s Day but I don’t love it either. It’s just another day for me probably because I have my own holiday for one day making a girl feel special. I like to call that holiday “Every Day.”

I feel like Valentine’s Day is the time for a lot of guys to treat their special lady much better than usual so their girl’s battery can be recharged to deal with the guy’s bullshit until her birthday or some other holiday, like President’s Day. Or maybe even until next Valentine’s Day. Of course, that may not be what’s happening, but it can be.

I don’t mean to sound so negative and cynical, forgive me. I’m just trying to be real about things and that’s how it comes off.

So ladies, I hope your man knows how to make you feel special just because you are, not because he’s “obligated” to during a holiday. And I hope none of you are in denial if you read this and try to rationalize shit. If you do that and you catch yourself, slap yourself for me then gently massage your face where you slapped yourself for me and I apologize in advance for slapping you (through you).

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Old to New

Mon, 07 Feb 2011 05:08:24 -0500

When life gets you down, it’s ok to rest there for a bit; just don’t forget to get up soon.

Snowy Thoughts

Wed, 12 Jan 2011 23:18:36 -0500

From January 12, 2011 at 1:40am

Running in the snow is cool. Shadow boxing, not so much. Hard to keep my damn footing when the snow gets compressed into ice.

As I ran through the snow and started coming back to footprints I had already made, I stopped and watched as new snowflakes came down and began to cover them. I tried to make sure that when I ran back to my house, my feet landed on the footprints I had made earlier to keep them there longer. Of course, since it has not begun to rain around these parts and it is still snowing, by morning (or even in an hour or so), the footprints I made will have been completely covered and it will seem like I had never gone on a run at all.

That’s kind of how life is. Sure, we can have everything now: money, fame, other shit. There are our footprints. But 100 years down the line when we’re (most likely) dead and gone? Our grandchildren could be mentioning us to our great grandchildren if they’re not having mid-life crises. But what about a few hundred years later? If we’re lucky, someone in our family was (un)cool enough to put together a family tree so they can look and say, “Oh, there’s great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandpa Emil.” Pretty soon, the snow of time begins to slowly but surely cover the footprints of our lives.

I know, there are people who died many hundreds of years ago, some even a couple thousand years ago and some change that are still remembered today. They are the “lucky” ones who were able to run over their own footprints then had future people run over their footprints for them posthumously. If I could do something that would have me remembered that long after I have died, well…damn, I probably would not have even known I did something that great since someone’s greatness is usually only fully grasped once that person has long since passed.

I (don’t) love how things work out that way.

Oh well, a guy can dream, can’t he? Even if his dream is to make the almost impossible completely possible.

2011

Sat, 01 Jan 2011 04:11:53 -0500

Welcome, 2011. It’s nice to see you. There’s so much I have to do during your 1 year reign. I won’t spoil it, but I will say I’m going to work damn hard for once.

And with that, I say RIP, 2011: although it just began, I’m bout to kill it. In the best possible ways.

Never Forget

Fri, 31 Dec 2010 14:26:14 -0500

5:25am last year. That morning, still so clear to me, like a frosted over car bathing in the moonlight in an unlit parking lot. The ringing of the phone, my mom answering the call and the dropped phone followed by dropping tears. I went as cold as the frigid morning air that awaited us as we hurried to the van to make our way over to Swedish. The only thought I could muster since I invested all my energy in halting my tears was, “Why?”

You were lying there so peacefully. You had motioned for us earlier that night to go home. Did you know it was your time, Lola? Did you not want us to see you pass? We did not mean to disturb your peace but we had to begin saying our “goodbyes,” with your newly wet cheeks and reddening eyes. Well, mine weren’t. At least not yet. Remember you told me I had to be strong?

I can’t believe a year has already passed. I suppose that’s a good thing: I’m another year closer to seeing you again. Sorry, I know you wouldn’t want me talking like that. Did you see me finish this past quarter? Finally and officially, I’m a college graduate; I know you had been waiting to see that.

It’s really painful that you passed away on this day. Every time the New Year approaches, I get reminded that it’s another year that’s about to begin that I don’t get to be with you. Again, I’m sure you wouldn’t want me to talk like that. Don’t worry, La, I’m happy and only getting happier with the way things are going, but I will always feel that pain in my heart and those tears sting my eyes around this time before I get back to normal and remember the good times I had with you during your life and not the tragedy that was your death.

I love you, La, and I will never forget you.

Greatness

Wed, 22 Dec 2010 23:33:03 -0500

Greatness is not the lack or absence of failure: whether one fails or succeeds, it is facing every challenge that comes one’s way, no matter what the odds.

Some stuff

Fri, 10 Dec 2010 18:59:45 -0500

- Over 7 billion people populate the Earth but the Earth’s carrying capacity is only about 2 billion people…and that’s if we used every bit of land on Earth. Now, that carrying capacity isn’t really fixed since it could be higher if everyone only ate and used up other resources that they NEEDED, but that’s never the case, is it? And of course it could also be lower, which is a more likely case.

- It’s understandable that people fear the sea level rising due to global warming melting ice around the world, but don’t freak out about the Polar ice caps melting. That’s not what you should be worried about if you’re afraid of rising sea levels since ice is less dense than water, so the Polar ice caps melting would probably lower the sea level. It’s the ice on land melting that we should be worried about, like the Antarctic ice sheets. Sea levels would rise about 240 feet if ice on land melted. That would make Queen Anne an island.

- Anyone catch that NASA Press Conference about alien life on Earth (with alien life being a creature that isn’t carbon based)? I didn’t, but supposedly it wasn’t as groundbreaking as some people would have hoped since that arsenic based life doesn’t start that way and only begins to incorporate arsenic when it is bombarbed with arsenic. Sorry everyone, no Xenomorphs or Predators just yet.

Scary movies

Tue, 30 Nov 2010 04:25:40 -0500

The horrible ones far outnumber the good ones, but man, I love watching them. Damn, how come most people didn’t like “The Descent” though? That’s one of the best “recent” horror films. Shout out to Clairbel because she liked it. The rest of you, explain yourselves.

Feel free to recommend scary movies to me. In fact, it’s encouraged. I’ve probably watched what you’re thinking of recommending though. If not, you get a gold star.

Astronaut

Sun, 28 Nov 2010 17:32:43 -0500

It’d be great if I had money to go on a vacation somewhere. Daydreaming will have to do. I can make my ceiling turn into the scenery of any place I want if I stare at it long enough. But damn, after a while, it just makes me want to get away even more.

I read a recent article that daydreaming isn’t very good for your mental health: although we can daydream of happy things, they typically regress to things that may elicit negative emotions.

Word, but I’ll take that. Time to go on another vacation.

TG

Sat, 27 Nov 2010 03:25:00 -0500

Someone recently asked me if Thanksgiving was celebrated in the Philippines. In case anybody else was wondering, no it’s not: Thanksgiving is strictly an American holiday (of course I mean North American since people never seem to refer to South Americans as just Americans). Funny how Thanksgiving would be an American holiday since it seems we need it most, with many, many people in this country taking precious things in their lives for granted all the time. I know I can be guilty of that. Let me express some of my thanks on here though.

I’m thankful for objects like my books, video games, DVDs, clothes and my (parents’) house.

I’m thankful for my physical body, allowing me to exist on Earth and interact with my surroundings and other people, animals, bacteria, archaea and viruses. Oh, and prions and viroids as well.

I’m thankful for my friends. All of you are great and I love you all. Thanks for all the great times we’ve had and will have. I’m here for all of you, don’t forget that, whether you need someone to listen, to never stop talking or to make fun of you to remind you that you ain’t all that (but really, you are).

I’m thankful for my cousins. You’ve been here since the beginning. Well, not Clarize and Bessie since they’re younger than me, but that’s okay. The bonds we share only we can fully understand. There are two of you I can specifically thank for influencing my sense of humor, but I won’t. I’m sure you’ll know who you are. We’re family, blood, nothing can change that. If you need me, I’m here.

And of course, I’m thankful for my parents. I want to create a new word that means “infinitely thankful” so I can say, “I’m [insert new word] for my parents.” I refuse to just find a way to fuse those two words together as well. Where do I begin? Without my parents, I wouldn’t exist. Without my parents, I wouldn’t have such a great mental and emotional foundation that allows me to face whatever shit the world may send my way so I can always fight back with a smile on my face and a crazy, angry look in my eyes. Their love keeps me anchored but also pushes me to do things even when I’m tired. My guiding lights that never flicker. I would die for them, though I know they wouldn’t want me to do that. I know I can be a brat and stubborn and a butthead, but I do my best to show them everyday I’m thankful for them and that I love them so damn much.

Thanksgiving is great, but I share a sentiment that I know many other people have expressed: don’t wait for this one day out of the year to give thanks, give thanks as much as you can.

Bits, get off meh

Fri, 26 Nov 2010 13:44:03 -0500

My neighbor has become more and more annoying as time has passed. That’s fine. But damn, don’t come up to my dad and I when we’re grilling steaks and more-than-suggest that we should be vegans. Her reasoning: “would you eat Emily?” If I was really hungry and I absolutely could not find something else to eat, yes. However, that scenario would never come up because I am an excellent hunter and gatherer, thanks to my unparalleled combination of feral instincts and impeccable reason and logic.

Now, I think it’s great that vegans want nothing to do with animal products because of their moral convictions. But that got me thinking: how come we don’t have people with moral convictions concerning plant rights and welfare in that way? Yes, sending ol’ Bessie and Moo Moo to the slaughterhouse and watching what happens to them would be quite the sad sight, but wouldn’t throwing fruits and vegetables into a blender be analogous to that? Okay, not really. It’d be analogous if we only sent animal reproductive structures and limbs to the slaughterhouse. Plants are just as alive as us, but maybe because they don’t have a face or vocal chords to express the horrible pain they must feel when we so coldly harvest fruits and vegetables, we think it’s okay? “What about nuts,” some of you may be saying. Well, I got deez nuts for you for asking such a stupid question. I’ll just say this about them: eating a pine nut would be like ripping out a pregnant cow’s uterus and consuming only that. Why? If you remove the shell of a pine nut and carefully split the female gametophyte (the part of the nut you eat), inside, you will see a developing sporophyte embryo.

I’m just saying.